So I’ve been thinking about this a LOT since it happened to me Sunday before last (November 8th). Hubby and I were at a church meeting, and this boy (he was about 10 years old) sitting across from us asked what I was doing. I told him I was knitting a scarf, and he expressed interest in learning to knit. I of course, invited him to come to the knitting class, when it resumes in the Spring. Then his father sat down at the table. He listened to what I was telling the boy, and then told him he would not be coming to the class. In a nutshell- the dad said that knitting was women’s work (like sewing and cooking- his words, not mine); and that he wanted his boy to be a man and do manly professions (pretty much anything involving grunting and power tools), and playing manly sports, and that he wouldn’t have time for things like knitting.
He then went on to say that if his daughter wanted to learn to knit, that she would be allowed to. But not his son. That was the way the dad was raised, so that’s the way he’s raising his son. (Btw- the daughter, who was about 7 years old had absolutely no interest whatsoever in learning to knit.)
This situation is absolutely frustrating to me. First- because I have to abide by the father’s wishes. The boy is a minor, therefore his father is completely justified in trying to control the boy’s influences and actions. Second- Knitting takes practice, and it’s crystal clear that the boy will not be able to practice at home. This does not mean that I think (or feel) the father was right. I think that as long as the profession is LEGAL, and not hurting anyone, that a person should be able to do it. Doesn’t matter if it’s professional cheerleading, or construction work, or flower arranging, or fishing.
This boy could become the biggest knitwear designer out there. He could make millions every year, just designing FABULOUS things for models to wear, and the rest of us to knit. He could let his parents retire early and take care of THEM. All off of knitwear. Or- he could just knit scarves to relax after a long day of construction work. The point is not what he could do with learning to knit- it’s the adamant way that his father forbade it.
Knitting is not women’s work. Knitting is for everyone. I just hope that once the boy gets older and moves out, that maybe that interest in knitting will still be there, and maybe he’ll find someone to teach him (or teach himself). That’s all I can do right now- is hope.
Duck And Cover 
Good Lord! The father is an idiot! First of all, knitting is a post-apocalyptic life skill. Maybe that would sway the Neanderthal. Second, knitting was once the exclusive province of males. Women were permitted to spin but not knit, only men were allowed into the exclusive tradesmen enclaves.
That little gem of old-world misogyny should swell his (not)nads with testosterone!
Oh I told him about the men – only knitting guilds, and about firemen and sailors. Apparently none are manly enough- he didn’t budge one bit. It’s sad, really.
That is beyond sad in this day and age!
My husband can knit. He can also build me a linen cupboard and wield a chainsaw like nobodys business. All that dad is doing is teaching his son to hide things from him. What an idiot.
Parents shape so much of how their children view life and it saddens me when they take away learning opportunities from their kids because of views like that. We live in a world in which anything is possible why keep yourself in a box?
Sounds like the father is coming from a place of fear. Fear that his son won’t be “manly” enough if he learns to knit…or maybe it’s the father’s own issue. Maybe he would be embarrassed by a son who knits. Either way, it’s just sad, and you’re right…it’s outdated.
So sad. I feel bad for the child — he’s being told his interests are wrong, which will lead to self-doubting. He’s being erroneously shielded from an activity that could bring him joy. And he’s being told there are things in this world that aren’t for him because of who he is.
The sooner we as a society stop trying to impose this outdated sense of masculinity on our boys, the sooner we will have happier men who feel free to express themselves emotionally and pursue interests no matter the traditional gender bias associated with them. And happier men mean healthier relationships and less of this toxic masculinity that has fueled so many of these violent public acts of late.
Maybe that’s the answer — put down your guns and pick up some knitting needles!
I know you have to respect the father’s wishes, but is there a mom in the picture? Perhaps if she knew the situation, it could spark a conversation in their home.
Unfortunately not- she was right there, the whole time- avoiding the conversation. She will not stand up to the father.
That’s too bad.
The military used to teach people to sew. I taught my sailors and marines all of the time…both handsew and to use a machine. Basic lifeskill.
Some of my favorite crocheters are men…and some of my favorite clothing designers are men. I don’t know too many talented male knitters, but I think that is more the reason why they should encourage their son!
Very sad that in 2015 men are still thinking like this. As a previous person said, teaching his son that hiding things from him if he doesn’t conform, is easiest.
well said. It is disheartening that these kinds of ideas are still influencing so many kids and families. Knitting is a great outlet for anyone who wants to destress, express creativity, practice math and calculations, be inventive . . . and so many more things. Keep fighting the good fight, people of the fiber!