I don’t talk much about my personal life here. Not that I don’t like you guys- I’m just a very private person. If I do talk, it’s normally light stuff… basically the ME equivalent of small talk. Today is going to be a slightly deeper talk.
Because I’m sleep-deprived, and because sometimes you just NEED to say stuff.
So. My dad is staying with us. And Shadow (my cat) hates it. I don’t think he hates Daddy per say, he just hates the fact that he’s here. All the time. ALL the time. He will frequently meow at Daddy like, “Why don’t you go home! Why are you still here?”
This is his home now, kitten. That’s why we’re moving to a 2-bedroom at the end of the month.
So why is my dad staying with us? Well- he has cancer. And with the treatments, and side effects, and everything else that goes along with it- I just would not feel comfortable with him staying alone. And he needs that extra help, and moral support, and maybe some company to help him make it through all this. So he’s staying with us.
The change of having another person in the house, though, has been hard. You can’t walk around half-naked… you can’t play video games all day on your day off, cause you feel like you’re being rude… you can’t watch what you want on TV… Dad is a big game show/talk show junkie. And while the game shows are fine- I feel like I’m losing IQ points every time I watch one of these talk shows with him.
I think the three biggest things that we have to adjust to are:
1) Daddy is used to eating out. It was just him at home, so he’s used to just grabbing some sort of food and bringing it home. He didn’t cook all that much. And also- being that cancer does change your taste buds- sometimes the only thing he’ll eat is something of the take-out variety. So, since we are a mostly eat-at-home couple- we’re trying to find a balance between take-out and home cooking.
2) You can’t really be intimate, when you know how thin the walls are, and your DAD is in the next room. Just… no. At least in the new place- the other bedroom is on the opposite side of the apartment.
3) I’m an insomniac. I have no trouble getting to sleep- I have trouble STAYING asleep. And I think as my dad gets older- he sleeps less and less. So when someone is up and moving at 3 am- I don’t sleep. When someone leaves every light on between him and the bathroom (and the blazing light reaches under the bedroom door to slap me awake- I don’t sleep. When we have to keep the thermostat higher than normal, because we’re accidentally making a dad-shaped popsicle- I don’t sleep.
I really can’t wait until we move. I have almost two weeks to go.
I’m so so sorry, Talya. For the diagnosis, and for the situation. It’s such a wonderful thing you’re doing, but also such a difficult thing for everybody involved. It’s so hard to adjust to other people in your space. I’m glad you’ve moving to a bigger place soon; hopefully that helps. We went through a cancer fight with my dad about five years ago. If you ever need to talk to someone privately, you can always email me. bonnymoseley(at)yahoo. Hugs!
Thank you. This is mostly the reason why I have not limited my WIPs to four like normal. Knitting helps with the stress, so whatever I want to cast on- I cast it on. I’ll deal with the rogue WIPs later.
Absolutely. You do what you gotta do to stay sane!
It’s tough when your space is in flux…good luck! Two weeks isn’t long! It’s great that you can be there for your Dad when he needs it! The cat might not agree, but you’re doing the right thing! 🙂
alexand knits said:
That sounds really frustrating. I hope move day comes quickly, and that being in a new place helps things settle a bit. It’s so hard when your space isn’t really your space.
Mrs P said:
Good luck both for your dad…and you,